STILL WATCHING YOU

Okay people!!I know its been a bit and all, trust, I’ve been working tirelessly just to make sure I fulfill your fashion cravings and wants. I’m not going to beat around the bush right now as I am still very vexed at the way my people murder fashion all in the name of dressing up because I refuse to call that fashion.

My aim this week is just to bring some fashion offenders to book and hope the upcoming fashionistas learn one or 2 things from this. I was opportuned to be at Oniru beach over the weekend and (MY GOD!!) I had to stop for a bit and wonder if I was actually at the right place. The sight of military men, bouncers and the serious gating actually marveled me, Na wa oh!! (I said to myself).

The most annoying part was the fact that I had to part with 1500 naira to gain access to the beach, and actually had to struggle to get in, but thank God it was worth the wait at the entrance as I fed my hungry eyes with a whole lot of fashion faux pas. I’m sure most of you must have noticed the way every ‘gidi’ boy or gurl just tries to ‘rep’, not giving a hoot about it being right or tight.

Back to my beach sojourn…I wondered if I was at a naming ceremony, club or wedding. Well ,I definitely saw my correct peeps who made sure every little detail wasn’t forgotten, looking all comfy and beach ready, rocking ‘em wayfarers, neat shorts ,bikinis (yeah saw some chics), and of course there were the stubborn rockers whose sight almost overshadowed the bikini chics. The question that readily came to mind was…did these people actually leave their house with the aim of coming to the beach? It wasnt easy asking for views and all, as I almost got embarrassed (pssheeeww!!) but 4 d OSU spirit in me, I chose not to give up and so I inquired, below are some of d offenders I arrested, for those of u that haven’t been caught, dress right or you shall be brought to book.

THE ASO EBI ROCKERS

For gawds sake, this aint a burial or wedding, My first victim was a woman in her mid-twenties looking like ‘jenifa’ in her wannabe days with make up looking all scattered and cheap , jewellery looking as fake as fake can get, clad in a floor length ankara with heels almost 6 inches high…..OMG!! you should have seen the way she stumbled and almost tripped. Did her ‘sixth’ sense not tell her to take off her shoes, that it was bad enough she was clad in Ankara 2 the beach?

ANYWAYS…this look should be reserved 4 OWAMBEs and not beaches.

THE CORPORATE DRESSERS

Okay, it’s the beach and not an interview or a church service incase you need to be reminded. Why would any sane person leave his house with plans of hitting d waters looking all dressed up in black shoes (polished), shirt tucked in neatly and some ‘spice it up’ by wearing cardigans and mufflers( aarrrgghhh!!!). You might as well wear a suit and tie to get the total gentleman look. I know some of you might feel good and fly on the outside, but I can tell your body is ‘shedding tears’ and asking you WHY ME?

THE OVERDRESSED ONES

Trust my ‘gidi’ peeps, always trying so hard to look good all in a bid never to come last in the fashion race…its not a bad idea to look good but please be easy on our eyes and try to be fashion forward. Less has always been better.

For me, a regular day at the beach would mean me having on my plaid short, tees and flipflops (picture the look). It’s not a fashion competition, so I see no reason why anybody in this age and time would want to wear timberland boots, baggy jeans, and knee length t-shirts (double tragedy) coupled with a lil’ bandana hanging from their back pocket and a durag tied on the head (helllllloooo!!! it’s a nu millennium) and except you are da grin,..NEVER dress that way.

It was so unfortunate I was without my camera, you’d have seen them yourselves.

Anyways, I hope you’ve learnt a thing or four from this…..

Adios.

SHADOW