HITLIST - YOU ARE SO J.I.

Remember when David Beckham stepped up to take that very famous penalty kick that coulda sent England straight into the quarter-finals of the world cup or that incredulous one against turkey; where he thought the ball was a spaceship and he had been bestowed the honour of launching it into space. Well, it became a cliché that whenever a footballer sliced a spot kick over the crossbar, he was said to have “BECKHAMED” the ball.

Fellow Nigerians, it pleases me to inform you that one of our own has accorded himself that same feat. It is none other than Nollywood’s Mr. Macho, JIM IYKE or J.I. as he now calls himself. Apparently, the income from playing “the bad guy” in movies is not sufficient enough for our dear J.I. so he plunged (head first) into Music.

Now when you hear the phrase, “YOU ARE SO J.I”, it simply means “you are the whackest nigga that walks the face of earth”. I mean, WHAT WAS HE FINKING?...What was he thinking when he walked into a music studio (and I’m really curious)? What was the producer thinking when he actually PRODUCED the song (without d requisite advise) and we can probably understand the position of the video director.

But 2face, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING NA….? You are good not GOD!!! You can’t save EVERYONE. You tried your best, yes! But nah!!!!.....no try am again. He might be your friend but then, haven't you heard of never mixing business with pleasure.....pleeeaaaasssseeeeeeee.

J.I (my mayne!!), your gal might tell you she loves “ur new found talent” (like she’s got a choice), but Jim, when next u see a music studio, just think of sumfin else(ANYFIN dat doesn’t involve u singin....or TRYING to sing) and do DAT instead...kip all ur gangstarious(is dat even a word??) acts in the home vids(since we have the choice to buy or not to buy) and don’t force your way into our living rooms.

For those of you that wanna know what gangstarious means....watch this space closely and you might just get lucky.